Changing Focus, Post 5

Lessons From the Storm

Matthew 14:22-32 tells the story of what happened when Peter and the other disciples took their focus off Jesus and placed it instead on their circumstances. Let’s look at this story in detail.

                      Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.
                Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, "It's a ghost!"
                But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," he said. "Take courage. I am here!"
                Then Peter called to him, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water."
                "Yes, come," Jesus said.
                So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.
                Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?"
                When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. "You really are the Son of God!" they exclaimed.
    Matthew 14:22-32

Verse 22 tells us that the disciples got into a boat and separated themselves from Jesus. After Jesus performed the miracle of feeding the five thousand, John tells us (John 6:15) that the crowds intended to force Jesus to be their king. They did not understand Jesus’ mission at all. They saw him only as a means of escaping their circumstance of oppressive Roman rule. The disciples were likely caught up in the excitement of the crowd and shared their ideas. This is still early in Jesus’ ministry, and the disciples still did not understand His purpose. Instead, they were trying to make him into what they wanted Him to be. Seeing that the disciples were siding with the crowd, it is possible that Jesus had them get into the boat to separate them from the zealous intentions of the Jews.
           
The disciples were trying to make Jesus fit into their life, instead of conforming themselves to His. As a result, they are separated from Him and choose to go on alone. We too separate ourselves from God when we refuse to submit to Him. When we become caught up in our emotions rather than listening to God’s voice, we often find ourselves becoming separated, not only from Him, but from those around us as well.

Once the disciples were in the boat, Jesus went off on His own to pray. The Bible mentions that while He was there, night fell. This seemed like a fitting image to me of what our lives are like when we separate ourselves from the Light of the World. Darkness is often a picture in the Bible of a life without God’s presence.
           
Now that the disciples were separated from Jesus, they find themselves in trouble. A storm arose at sea and was threatening to destroy them. They are left vulnerable and being attacked on every side. Mark (6:48) states that they were straining against the oars, fighting against the onslaught of the wind and waves, but with no way out.
           
When the disciples stepped away from Jesus’ protection, they left themselves vulnerable. We can think of the wind and waves as Satan’s attacks against us. When we step out from under the protection of God, we leave ourselves open to Satan’s attacks. Like the disciples we find ourselves caught in the middle of the storm with no way of escape. It seems like a hopeless situation.
           
Jesus, knowing that the disciples were in trouble, comes to them, walking on the water itself. The first thing to take away from this is that Jesus recognized their need and their helplessness. He saw their struggle and their weariness, and knew they couldn’t prevail on their own. Second, realizing they are without hope, Jesus comes to them. He doesn’t wait for them to fight their way back to Him, He comes to them. Jesus always meets us at our point of need. Third, he comes to them walking on the water, demonstrating that He is greater than anything that would come against us. Though they threatened the disciples very existence, the wind and waves could not keep Jesus from coming to their aid. Last, it is interesting to note that Jesus came to them during the “fourth watch”, sometime between 3:00 AM and 6:00 AM, right before the dawn. In the Bible, night is a symbol of troubled times, or times of fear and despair. Dawn, on the other hand, is a symbol for a new beginning or deliverance.
           
The disciples, caught up in their fear of their circumstances, do not recognize their Lord. They think He is a ghost, another illusion of false hope. When we are focused on our circumstances, we can often fail to recognize the help that is right in front of us.
           
Jesus speaks comfort to them, telling them that He has come to set everything right and rescue them from their situation. Three simple words, “I am here” meant the turning point in the storm, deliverance from destruction, and hope in a hopeless situation. He needed no explanation of why they should trust Him. He had already calmed the seas once before (Matthew 8:23-27), proving then that “even the winds and waves obey Him”. There was no need for Him to explain why they shouldn’t be afraid, the explanation was in the word “I”—just as God told Moses to tell the Israelites “I AM” had sent him. The proof of God’s power is in the very fact of who He is. God had come to save them, without a resume, or a long list of previous miracles. He had saved them once and He would save them again.
           
Peter, realizing it was His savior, calls out to Jesus, asking Him to permit Him to come. Even though Peter says “if it’s really you”, he knew it was Jesus. Had he not believed, he never would have stepped out of the boat. Perhaps what Peter was really asking was “if it really is You—if You really are I AM—what else do I have to fear”. Maybe this was when Peter truly realized that Jesus was God, for it was after this event that we see Peter’s confession of Jesus as God’s Son (Matthew 16:13-20).
           
Jesus tells Peter to join Him, inviting him to share the same power He had by conquering the storm. Peter steps out of the boat and onto the water, His eyes on Jesus as he went towards Him. Jesus is offering Peter the authority to overcome all that was against him. Until now, Peter was trusting in the work of man (namely, the boat) and his own strength (rowing against the waves) to deliver him. By stepping out of the boat, he is signifying his faith in Jesus as the only deliverer. As he maintains his focus on Him, he retains control over his circumstances.
           
Just as Peter seems to have realigned his focus, the storm begins to rage around Him, and his gaze is taken from Jesus and placed on His situation. Satan wasn’t through. Sensing he was about to be defeated, he throws his all at Peter, and manages to capture his attention again. With his focus on his situation instead of on his Savior, Peter begins to lost control and sink into despair. When we are going through trying situations, our only way of escape is by putting out trust in God, and keeping our eyes upon Him. Had Peter kept his focus on God, he would have conquered his circumstances.
           
Immediately, Jesus reaches down and takes Peter’s hand and pulls him back up. Verse 30 says Peter was just beginning to sink when he cried out to Jesus, and Jesus immediately takes his hand. God comes to us as soon as we cry out to Him, and, like Jesus was, he is right there, waiting. He doesn’t wait around for awhile, leaving us to flounder and sputter around until we’ve learned our lesson. He rescues us immediately. Then, Jesus reminds Peter why it is he sank—he doubted God’s sovereignty. He was afraid of the waved when the One who created the seas was standing there with him, beckoning him to rest in His protection.

"The Blesseds": The Persecuted

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.
Matthew 5:10

Jesus began and ended the beatitudes with a reference to those who will inherit the kingdom of Heaven. What is the kingdom of Heaven? Several times in the Gospels, Jesus makes reference to the "kingdom of Heaven" being come, or at hand. He was referring to Himself and the work He had come to do on our behalf. Salvation, and the blessings that come with it is God's kingdom-- a kingdom begun here on earth and made perfect in Heaven.
In this final "blessed", Jesus promises those facing persecution the blessings of the kingdom of Heaven. Many people would define persecution as physical or financial harm against a person because of their religious beliefs. These types of persecutions are real and many Christians around the world are suffering just such things for their faith in Christ. In our western culture founded on religious freedoms, Christians are less likely to face such persecution, but that does not mean we won't face any at all. Persecution may come in the form of verbal attacks on us and our belief, or even in discrimination at work or school.

Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison.

Hebrews 11:36

The idea that we will have to suffer-- in whatever form-- to follow Christ makes many people nervous. Some of us have been falsely led to believe that accepting Jesus means accepting a life of quiet ease and bliss, but the Scriptures say otherwise. Anyone who is truly seeking out the righteousness of God is going to face persecution from an unbelieving world.

Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you.

1 John 3:13

Unbelievers, and sometimes even other Christians are offended by righteous living, because it convicts them of their own sins and shortcomings. Usually this results in anger directed towards the person trying to live right, because they feel it will draw their attention away from their own empty depravity.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:11-12

Those who suffer because they try to do right are assured membership in God's kingdom. But God's kingdom not only means the coming kingdom , but the kingdom Jesus established on earth by HIs death, including the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It means the power of God at work through us The word used for "theirs" in the verse also translates into "they". So what it could say is "blessed are those who are persecuted for seeking righteous living, for they are the kingdom of God at work on the earth."

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Whatever we face for following Christ could never compare with the eternal blessings and glory that we will share with Him. He alone has the words of life. He alone has the comfort for our aching souls. He alone has the answer to all our troubles. He alone can fill the emptiness of our souls. He alone is worth living-- and dying-- for.

Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31-39

Changing Focus. Post 4

4. God is all that can satisfy your longing.

Satan and our own flesh try so hard to promise fulfillment in anything but God. We enter this world realizing that there is a piece of us missing and most spend their entire life trying to find it. We search for it in relationships, financial gain, and, for some of us, in motherhood. That is why we become so consumed with our desire to have a child—because we feel we need it to be whole. We become convinced that it is what will fill the void we have discovered in our heart. Here are the facts: that void, that emptiness, that feeling of being incomplete, those are all there for one specific reason. There is a part of all humanity that was left void by sin. Some have described it as a “God-shaped hole”. However you choose to look at it, it is a void that only God can fill, and Satan has made it his mission to get you to fill it with anything else. The desire to be a mother is a God-given desire, but when it overwhelms your desire for God it becomes toxic. The truth is, even if you get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby, those feelings of emptiness will eventually return. What results is frustration and bitterness—directed at your own child, because she cannot fulfill the expectations you have placed on her.

I experienced this first hand after we adopted our daughter, Isabella. I was certain that her presence in my life would soothe that nagging emptiness I had felt. For a time, it did, but it was not long before I felt it returning. Suddenly, she wasn’t enough. I needed more. I began to get frustrated with her as an expression of my disappointment in her inability to fulfill my longing. I had placed such a heavy burden on someone so little. I had set an expectation that she was incapable of fulfilling—that any child was incapable of fulfilling. I expected her to be for me what only God could be, and when she couldn’t, began to take out my discontent on her. It was an injustice to her. In His mercy, God opened my eyes to what was going on. Had He not, I feel certain that I would done serious, though unintentional, damage to the precious life God had entrusted to me. A child cannot fill the emptiness you feel, even if you think that emptiness is because you don’t have one. The day I finally understood this, I wept. Only God could completely fulfill me, and He has. He was a perfect fit.

“There are three things that are never satisfied— no, four that never say, "Enough!": the grave, the barren womb, the thirsty desert, the blazing fire.” Proverbs 30:15-16

"Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." John 4:13-14

 “When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.” Psalms 145:16

5. You need to find contentment in where you are now.

This truth is closely related to number four, but it is important enough to make it its own point. If your days are spent dreaming of a child, obsessing over which medication you could try next, or which procedure might work for you, you will find it difficult to feel content. Not just difficult, impossible. Feelings of discontent add further frustration to an already frustrating situation. Once you surrender to the fact that your emptiness can only be satisfied by God, you will begin to find contentment in who you are, and what you already have. Take a moment to stop and think about all that you’ve already been blessed with—family, husband, home, close friends—whatever you have, rejoice in it, and in the fact that the Creator of the universe has called you His own. Children will eventually grow up and leave, but your relationship with your God will remain long after the kids are gone. If your relationship with Him is your focus, you will find contentment. Not contentment to stay put, but contentment in the fact that He is all you need to be satisfied. Learn to say, like the apostle Paul, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11)

“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it.” I Timothy 6:6-7

“…be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’” Hebrews 13:5

 

"The Blesseds": The Peacemakers

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Sons of God.
Matthew 5:9

What is a peacemaker? It is a multifaceted term.

First, it implies someone who actively promotes peace among the body of Christ—the church.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15

Strife, envy, division, gossip, malice, bitterness, anger… these things have no place in the body of Christ, but so often are all glaringly represented in our churches. If Christ’s own body can’t live holy, love-led lives, how can we expect to draw the world away from their collision course with eternal disaster? What is there in our churches to attract them when they look inside and see the same smut and filth that they are so tired of outside it? Are our churches nothing more than “whitewashed tombs” (Matthew 23:27-28), looking so good on the outside, but full of filth on the inside?

The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.
Isaiah 32:17

Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.
Psalm 85:10

Righteousness (achieved through Christ's death on the cross) is what enables us to be God’s children. The effect of righteousness is confidence of an eternal life with God. The result of righteousness is a love of peace, both within ourselves and in the body of Christ. As Sons of God, we should be seeking peace and love first within our own body, and then in the world.

The second thing we must consider about this verse is the meaning implied by the Greek. The word used for “peacemaker” is eirēnopoioi, which is made up of two words, eiréné (“whole”) and poieó (to “make”). So, literally, the Greek word used can be translated to read “to make whole”.

A peacemaker is one who proclaims the good news of Christ’s sacrificial act on the cross to a world lost in darkness. They seek to awaken the spirit of the lost to an understanding of God. Doing so results in a unification of spirit, soul, and flesh, thereby making them whole.  This is the process sometimes referred to in scriptures as a “new birth”. When we are born into this world, we are born with three “layers” to our being. The first layer is our flesh, our physical being. This is the part of us that is in control until we accept Christ as our savior. It is the part that chooses to sin rather than to do good. The second part of each man is the soul. The soul is the part of us that is eternal. Though the flesh will eventually die and rot away, the soul lives on into eternity, either in Heaven, or in Hell, depending on the choice we make in life. The third part is our spirit. The spirit is the part of each human that connects us to God. It is the part of us that longs for fellowship and re-unification with our Creator. If a person never accepts Christ as the redeemer of their soul, then their flesh continues to be in control and the spirit lies dormant and "un-awakened”. The moment we reach out for redemption, however, our spirit is “born” within us and creates a link between us and our God. It is the spirit that finds connection and guides us instead of our flesh. This is why salvation is referred to as the “new birth”, because it is as though we have been re-born into this life through the awakening of our spirit to God—we are finally made whole.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
James 3:17-18

So, promoting peace with God to a world at odds with Him will result in an outpouring of good in not only our lives, but the lives of those we help to make whole.

Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth...
Matthew 10:34a

So, if Jesus tells us to be peacemakers, then what do we do with the above verse? The word for peace in this verse is the same Greek word Jesus used above. In one sense it seems He is telling us to be peacemakers like Him, then later tells us that He didn’t come to bring peace at all. That statement is true, and yet it’s not a contradiction. The difference is in the verbs: making peace and bringing peace. The disciples, and the rest of the Jewish community, believed that the Savior would come and rescue them from their physical captivity and reign over them as their earthly king, therefore bringing them peace and prosperity through his rule. They thought the kind of peace that Jesus had come to give was a lifestyle of ease and carefree living.

You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Matthew 10:22

Jesus explained to His disciples in this passage that anyone who chooses to follow Him will face persecution in some form. He is warning them that the Christian life is not always one of carefree ease on this earth, and that to follow it, we must be committed to standing firm against any adversity we may face for the reward is truly greater than the cost.

…I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:34b

In the second half of that verse, Jesus tells us that instead of peace, he brings a sword. Some people will use this passage to justify all sorts of violent deeds, but I don’t believe that violence is the correct interpretation of this passage.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12

The scriptures refer to the Word of God as a sword, a powerful weapon in the battle for the hearts and the minds of this world. Jesus did not come to this earth as the disciples first thought, to force peace on the earth through an autonomous rule, but, instead, He gave us a way to make peace (wholeness) in our spirits and left us a weapon with which we can battle for the peace of others as well.

Look, there on the mountains, the feet of one who brings good news, who proclaims peace!
Nahum 1:15

This verse, written hundreds of years before Christ came to earth, seems a perfect picture of Him, standing on the Mount of Olives, encouraging us to be peacemakers in the earth and share the good news of His salvation to the world. It is His desire that we promote peace within His body, and that we encourage those at odds with Him to become whole and find peace in His gift of eternal redemption. Anyone who does these things is truly a child of God.

 

 

Changing Focus, Post 3

 

3. Your life is about more than having a baby.

Though it doesn’t feel that way now. I’ve told you this before, and I’m going to repeat it because it is so vitally important: Infertility is not your identity. It is not who you are or what you are. You are a vessel unto God, created to give Him glory and praise, and to accomplish the purpose for which you were called. If you are paralyzed by your desire to have a baby, how can you accomplish anything for God? Do you think having a child is your sole purpose in this life; that is the only reason God created you? Yes, God calls us to be fruitful and multiply, but that applies to our spiritual progeny even more than it does to our physical ones. I understand the burning desire to hold your own child in your arms, and it is not necessarily a bad one, but when it overpowers your desire to serve God and accomplish His will for your life, it becomes idolatry. That’s a tough pill to swallow, but it is the truth. Anything that takes precedence over our desire to serve God is an idol in our lives. When I finally realized this, I literally felt a weight lifted from me. God had called me to more than pining for a baby. He had called me to reach out to the hurting, to spread the news of His love and mercy to those who desperately needed to hear it. When I finally realigned myself to His will, I felt a joy and peace I had not felt in many years. My soul was fulfilled because it was accomplishing what is was created to accomplish. You will never feel fulfilled until you live your life in search of His purpose.

I still want a baby, but more than that, I want to accomplish what I was meant to accomplish. Consider this: you were created to fulfill a specific role in the earth that no one before or after you can fulfill. Do you get that? Do you understand the implications of that fact? That means that if you do not fulfill the destiny God assigned to you and you alone, it will go unfulfilled. Is that a chance you are willing to take? The world desperately needs you and the gifts God has placed inside of you. I once heard a man of God say that you will not be judged by what you did, but by what you failed to do that you were meant to. You only get one chance at this life, how do you want to spend it?

“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:4-8

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” Romans 8:28-30

"The Blesseds": The Pure

"Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God."
Matthew 5:8

To be pure in heart is to be faithful to God; to be driven by right motives to right actions; to love and seek out justice, mercy, and compassion.

What are mortals, that they could be pure, or those born of woman, that they could be righteous?  Job 15:14

We all sin, all mankind. We struggle against it from the moment we are born until the moment we die. Our hearts are stained with selfishness, greed, hatred, and lust. Purity of heart is an unattainable goal for our fallen flesh.

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior.  Titus 3:4-6

Purity in our heart does not mean sinless perfection, it means having a heart that has been cleansed by the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins. It means accepting His sacrifice and chasing after His holiness. It means accepting the fact that we can never be clean on our own. In order to have a pure heart, we must allow it to be cleansed and covered by the righteousness of Jesus Christ.

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place?  The one who has clean hands and a pure heart...  Psalm 24:3-4

 "Who may stand in his holy place?" Who may see God? The one whose heart is devoted to righteousness; the one whose hands work for good. Such a person will see God -- not only in Heaven, but here on the earth.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  James 1:27

If we have a heart that seeks after the things God cherishes (like mercy, love, and compassion) we will surely find Him in those very things. We will see Him in the earth, working through us. We will feel His presence and know the joy that it is to be bathed in His mercy and grace. Our hearts will seek out the hurting, lost, and desperate of this world, just as Jesus did. We will not allow ourselves to sit idly by while those around us suffer. A heart that is pure is not focused on itself, but on the love and power of God alive within it.

... let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.  Hebrews 10:22

Above all, a pure heart does not live in condemnation. It knows is own tendencies, but it also knows the grace it has received. A heart that has been washed clean by the blood of Jesus knows that it is made clean, not by its own righteousness, but by His. It is not afraid to press closer into God, knowing that He sees, not what it once was, but the spotless vision of His Son reflected in the heart of His rescued child.

 

Changing Focus, Post 2

It is difficult to keep our gaze where it should be during any trial or tribulation, but to pull our attention away from our Creator and focus it squarely on ourselves is spiritual (and relational) suicide. How do we change, though? How do we keep our focus right when we are in such a personally tragic situation? It is not easy. I won’t pretend that it is, but it is necessary. There are a few things I learned through my own struggle with this issue:

1. Being consumed with infertility or miscarriage isn’t going to change it.

The Bible asks an important question in Luke 12:25- Can all your worrying and obsessing add even a single moment to your life? No, but studies have shown that it can take them away. Worry is futile. It is useless. Constantly obsessing over your situation has no effect on the situation itself, but it does have destructive effects on you. It changes you into someone you never intended to become, stripping you of joy, peace, and contentment. Worry is sin, and it is an expression of selfishness. It is a declaration of your mistrust of everyone but yourself. More importantly, it is the assertion that God is a failure and a liar.

You probably read that last sentence and thought “I would never say that”, but if you have allowed yourself to become consumed with circumstances beyond your physical control, then you already have said it. I could go more in depth, but this is an area you need to search out for yourself.

2. God is the only one who can change your circumstance.

He is capable of anything. We are so quick to put our confidence in those with limited control (i.e. doctors) but reluctant to turn it over to the One who controls the universe itself. I am not preaching against seeing doctors, I am simply reminding you of Who gave the doctors their wisdom in the first place. He is the source of all knowledge and power. He alone has the words of life, to whom else could we go? Is anything too hard for the Lord? (Genesis 18:14)

"The Blesseds": The Merciful

"Blessed are the merciful for they shall be shown mercy."  Matthew 5:7

In the above verse, the Greek word used to describe the merciful is eleémón, meaning full of pity and compassion.

This is what the LORD Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.
Zechariah 7:9

A merciful person does not look on others and see their filth. They look on the broken, downtrodden, and helpless of the world and their hearts are moved by compassion and pity. They are moved to action--to move in relief of the suffering and misery of the world around them. Their efforts are tireless and their love unconditional.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 
Psalm 51:1

The actions of the merciful mirror the actions of our ever-merciful God. He, too, looks down on us, wallowing in the muck and mire of this world, helpless and hopeless, and His heart is moved with compassion. He, the Creator of the Universe, the God of Heaven's armies, does not hesitate to reach into this tangled mess of a world and pull us out with His own two hands.

We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy.  
Daniel 9:18

God extends His mercy to us, not because of our own worth or because we could possibly deserve it, but because of His own love and desire. His mercy is based on His goodness and not our own, and so, too, our mercy should not be based on the deserving merits of others, but on the great mercy we ourselves have been shown. 

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.  
James 2:12-13

If we do not extend mercy and forgiveness to others, how can God show us mercy? This principle is personified in the story of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:23-35. The servant owed a debt that he couldn't pay. The king had mercy on him and forgave what he owed. The servant then went out and demanded repayment of a small amount that was owed to him.. When the debtor couldn't pay, the servant refused to show mercy in return. When the king heard of the man's lack of compassion, he re-instated the debt and had the servant thrown into prison until he could pay it.We have been shown great mercy and been forgiven of a greater debt than we could ever be owed, therefore we have no right to withhold forgiveness and mercy from others.

But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”  
Matthew 9:13

Christ came to die for those who need mercy in their sin-ravaged lives. All the sacrifices in the world can not take the place of a compassionate heart that is eager to show mercy to the undeserving. God rewards such a person with an outpouring of His grace in their lives.

If we would be shown mercy, then we must first show mercy to others.

Changing Focus, Post 1

In the torrent of emotions that come with a miscarriage or fertility struggle, our focus can become skewed. I know saying this won’t win me any popularity contests, but the truth is that we too often become very self-absorbed. This realization hit me hard one day, after a close friend became pregnant. I found myself wanting to be pitied and cajoled. I expected, and even wanted her to feel ashamed that she could get pregnant and I could not. I, of all people, should have understood her joy and rejoiced with her, but I was too focused on my own situation to be the friend she needed me to be.
           

The Holy Spirit used this incident to open my eyes to my own selfishness. It was His grace that gave me the opportunity to see myself objectively, through the eyes of those around me-- and what I saw turned my stomach. I had become bitter, brooding, and easily injured. I had become a person that thrived off pity and actively sought it out in my relationships with others—the kind of person that always had to have the upper hand when it came to who was suffering the most. Then came the apex to my selfishness: I was so obsessed with my own suffering that I found myself secretly wishing she would miscarry so that she could be as miserable as I was. How far had my own self-obsession come that I could find comfort in others’ tragedy?
           

I was (and still am) ashamed and humiliated to think that I allowed infertility to change me into such a person. I had become the kind of person I usually tried to avoid. Had people noticed my attitude? Had they been avoiding my company? Had I become the person everyone dreads talking to, the notoriously negative woman?
            

 I had allowed my heart to become so calloused that I was wishing evil upon those who were supposed to be my friends. Writing that down is difficult. It’s embarrassing to admit just how absorbed I had become with my pain, but anytime we take our focus off God and turn it to our circumstances, we find ourselves becoming a person we never thought we could become.

Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ had.   Philippians 2:4& 5
           

It is difficult to keep our gaze where it should be during any trial or tribulation, but to pull our attention away from our Creator and focus it squarely on ourselves is spiritual (and relational) suicide. How do we change, though? How do we keep our focus right when we are in such a personally tragic situation? It is not easy. I won’t pretend that it is, but it is necessary.

Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.   Romans 12:21

 

"The Blesseds": The Hungry and Thirsty

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled."
Matthew 5:6

This verse speaks to those who have a deep-seated desire for God's righteousness to be displayed in their lives-- those whose hunger can only be met by the "Bread of Life", and whose thirst is only quenched by the "Living Water". An excellent example of this type of person would be the woman at the well in John 4. Her spirit was parched and panting for something real. It was a desire she had tried to satisfy in her flesh, but was only left battered. empty, and still thirsting for more. Jesus gave her Living Water (Himself) that she might never thirst again. In the presence of Jesus she was fulfilled.

Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.  John 6:27

Someone who hungers after righteousness realizes that real, lasting satisfaction cannot be found in the temporal things that the world has to offer, but in the eternal goodness of God. They seek after Him with all their heart and can't be satisfied with less than all of God in their lives.

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.  John 6:35

Jesus is the sustenance our hearts crave. He is the answer to every search, every quest, every desire. The pleasures and comforts of this world can only satisfy for the moment, then leave us wanting more, but His love and acceptance is the satisfaction of our hunger and thirst for more than life can afford.  His peace is everlasting and eternal. He is all that can quench the insatiable cravings that sometimes threaten to consume us.

You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.  Psalm 145:16

Jesus is the answer to every longing we have. His provision is the answer to our prayers. He feeds the hungry heart and offers relief to a parched soul.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.  Psalm 107:8-9

Understanding Infertility, Post 4

Key Points from Lesson 1, Concluded

 

You need to change your focus.

I saved this point for last for two reasons: first, it’s the most critical point to achieving success, and, second, well, because it’s going to be a tough pill to swallow. At the risk of bristling those little hairs on the back of your neck, I’m just going to say it: you’ve got to stop focusing on yourself and your situation. When you walk through anything so personally tragic as infertility and miscarriage, it is the natural reaction to turn all eyes inward; to become self-focused; to become—dare I say it—obsessed with your misfortune. It’s not intentional by any means. It just comes naturally to our flesh. And it’s terribly, terribly destructive—not only to yourself, but to your marriage and all your other relationships.
                Infertility is not your identity. Let me say it again.
                 Infertility is not your identity.
The sooner you grasp hold of that, the better. It is true that you are experiencing a season in your life that is difficult to walk through. I will not deny you that, but it does not have to define who you are. We will delve deeper into this in a later lesson, but for now, mull over that thought, and take a good, introspective look at how infertility has changed you.

“For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” Colossians 3:3

 

This is the last post from Lesson1, Understanding Infertility. Next week, I'll begin Lesson 2, Changing Focus. It's all about how to shift our focus from our circumstances and infertility to our God.

"The Blesseds": The Meek

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Matthew 5:5

We tend to think of meekness as a negative trait. We equate it with someone who is cast down or trodden on. At best we may use it to describe someone who is unusually quiet or shy. But, meekness to God is not a weak, down-trodden individual, but rather someone who, by their own strength of will has chosen to devote themselves to God's plan. In this "blessed", Jesus is emphasizing the importance of a humble, contrite spirit that acknowledges its dependence on God, and chooses not to assert its own control. He is advocating an attitude of quiet reflection towards our Creator-- waiting on Him to speak and not being quick to demand from Him.

But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.Psalm 37:11

Jesus was probably quoting from this Psalm when he made His declaration to the meek.
God promises that those with a meek spirit will inherit the earth. Most likely, He is referring to the "new earth", the coming kingdom of God. The Psalmist is also promising much to the meek. In addition to the land or "earth", those with a quiet spirit will enjoy the peace that comes from acknowledging God's control, and the prosperity of His will actively at work in their lives.

On that day you, Jerusalem, will not be put to shame for all the wrongs you have done to me, because I will remove from you your arrogant boasters. Never again will you be haughty on my holy hill. But I will leave within you the meek and humble.The remnant of Israel will trust in the name of the Lord.Zephaniah 3:11-12

This passage from Zephaniah emphasizes God's favor of the meek and his detestation of the proud. He promises to remove all those who would boast in their own strength, their own power, their own self-made righteousness and leave only those who are humble and contrite in heart-- those who acknowledge their need for God and His power in their lives; those who realize that, apart from Him, they can do no good; and those who are waiting on the fulfillment of His promises.

Are you meekly walking through infertility? Is your spirit quietly waiting or does it rage and pound at the door of your heart, demanding an answer for its disappointments? Develop an attitude of meekness before God and He has promised you the peace and prosperity that you really desire. 

Understanding Infertility, Post 3

Key Points from Lesson 1, Continued

 

You are not alone in this.

 Not only has the Creator promised to never leave you or forsake you, you are here now with a group of women who are traveling the same road you are. Infertility and miscarriage are very isolating conditions. They can make you feel as though you are fundamentally flawed, utterly different than other women, and leave you feeling completely alone. The truth is you are not. Just look back at the statistic on the first page of this section. 7.3 million other women are feeling exactly what you are now. One of the fundamental purposes of this study is to get women like you linked up to a support system of others who can empathize, not just sympathize, with you. There may be times when you don’t feel like being linked, when you just want to curl up into a ball and hide yourself from everyone. I know, I was there; but those are the times when you need it the most.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

As you learn to heal and overcome the inner turmoil you feel right now, you will hopefully make yourself available to others who are just beginning their journey.

 

Your situation is not hopeless.

 

Even if you are dealing with a complete loss of fertility, that burning desire within you to hold a child of your own is not a lost cause. That longing for a child was placed inside you by your Creator Himself, and it was not a cruel trick (as I sometimes accused Him of). As we discussed earlier, He had a plan the moment He placed it inside of you, you just have to discover it. Believe it or not, some women have no desire to be a mother, and I believe that was no mistake. In a later lesson, we will discuss other ways to fulfill the longing of your heart, and you may be surprised to learn that you can do so without having to spend a dime!

Our God is the author of hope, and without Him, we are left to despair. The Scriptures tell us repeatedly to put our hope in Him, and that is exactly what we will learn to do. We will not put our hope in doctors or medical procedures which are fallible, but in the one, true, infallible God.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.” Psalm 62:5

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint”. Isaiah 40:31

"The Blesseds": Those Who Mourn

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

In this passage, the word mourning can refer to two things: first, a deep sorrow over sin, both personal and corporate-- the mourning over the depravity of man and its hopeless end; second, to grieve over a loss. Strong's concordance gives one definition for the Greek word used (penthountes)as "to grieve over a personal hope that dies".

Infertility is such a grief as this word defines. It is mourning the loss of a dream; it is greiving the idea that our heart may never realize its fondest hope.

Despite our mourning, God promises comfort. This comfort can come in many ways. God sent us comfort in the person and work of Jesus and the life that He provided for us. He also sent the Holy Spirit to speak comfort to our heart through the gentle reminders of God's promises. He also sends us other believers who can speak words of encouragement into our lives and share our burdens with us.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.   Isaiah 61:1-3

Isaiah says that God has provided freedom for the captives (to sin) and release from darkness. Infertility may have held you captive in its grasp, threatening to destroy you and all you love. Maybe it's more than just infertility-- maybe it's depression, anxiety, a failing marriage... whatever it is, these works of darkness are no match for the power of our loving, delivering God. He promises to comfort all who mourn, provide for all who grieve, and crown them with "His loving kindness and mercy" (Psalm 103:4) He promises them the oil of joy, Jesus-- the "balm of Gilead"-- who soothes and binds up our wounded souls, replacing our despair with a garment of unceasing praise for His goodness and mercy.

Then, those who once could only mourn will become a radiant display of the splendor and beauty of God as they bask in His joy and peace.

Understanding Infertility, Post 2

The Lord remembers us and will bless us.
Psalm 115:4

I knew enough of my God to know that He would never leave me nor forsake me. But sometimes, connecting this thought from the head to the heart can prove difficult. Slowly I began to realize that in asking if He had forgotten me, what I was really bringing in to question was the very goodness of God.

Was it God’s ultimate plan for me to be barren? No. He created women to bring forth life. He promised the children of Israel that if they would follow Him and keep His commands that none of them would be barren or miscarry. No barren woman in the Bible who cried out to Him was ever denied. It was clear from Scripture that God’s desire is for every woman to bring forth life.

Life is, after all, the very hallmark of God.

When sin entered the world through Adam and Eve, death came along with it. Where once there was only life and joy, now mankind, through its own sinful nature, must endure heartache and death. Infertility is a result of man’s choice to reject the perfect law of the Creator, and follow his own will.

Infertility is not a part of God’s plan for His people.

Jesus said: “I have come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).  God is the author and giver of life. He breathed into each of us the breath of life at the moment of our conception. It is He alone that creates and brings forth life, and it is to Him alone that we should turn in our time of need.

Some Key Points from Lesson 1:

God loves you.

This is the first and most important point. God does love YOU. I will be the first to admit that when you are walking through infertility and miscarriage, it doesn’t really seem like He even knows you exist, much less loves you, but despite our personal feelings, the fact remains that He does indeed love you.

                “And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”                                                                         Ephesians 3:17-19                                                                          

God has a plan for your life.

And it isn’t for you to spend the rest of your life in hopeless longing for a child. In the midst of a broken heart, it is difficult to recognize that God saw every day of your life before you were even conceived.
               
                “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalms 139:16

That is both a comforting and sometimes conflicting thought. It is easy to conclude that if God knew everything that was going to happen to you, then He planned for us to have these heartaches. But the very nature of God tells us that isn’t the case. 

                                “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.’”  Jeremiah 29:11

God’s plan for our life is one only of good. It is a plan of hope. What changed? We did. We all sin. It is, unfortunately, in our nature from birth. When we chose to live apart from the perfect ways of God, we also chose to live apart from His perfect plan.

The point is that God’s plan for our life is one of two options we can choose from. The other is to follow our own path, apart from Him, and try to make some good on our own. There are hundreds of examples in the Bible that show us just how well this works out for people. Turn again to Sarah. She grew weary and tired of waiting, so she deviated from the path and made her own. This detour resulted in generations of violence and strife that are still being played out to this day.

When we surrender to God and seek after Him, we open the door for His perfect will to be done in our life.

 

"The Blesseds": The Poor in Spirit

I was digging though my Bible reading journal and found notes I had made on the Sermon on the Mount, specifically, each of the "Blesseds". I thought, in between FF posts, we could take some extra time to look at these elements each week. This passage is found in Matthew 5:3-10. We'll start with the first Blessed, the Poor in Spirit.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:3

The word "poor" here is not referring to a financial state. To be "poor in spirit" means to be humble, hungry for God, dependent on His goodness and mercy instead of relying on our own sufficiency. Such a person will inherit all God has to offer. The "kingdom of God" can also refer to Jesus' work of salvation.

So he replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Luke 7:22

In the passage above, Jesus reports to John on His work and mentions that the "poor have the Good News preached to them". Again, I don't believe poor here refers to the financially desperate, but to those who are hungry, seeking, and those who have been spiritually bankrupted by the futility of earthly things. The good news was that there was a cure for the emptiness, the futility, and the hopelessness of life they felt. Jesus was enough to meet their every need.
There is a similar, prophetic passage in Isaiah:

Once more the humble will rejoice in the Lord; the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 29:19

Do you feel poor in your spirit? Do you feel like you have been stripped of all you once possessed and are left destitute by the ravages of the world? The Greek word used for poor in these verses is ptōchoi, which means "to crouch or cower like a beggar". Do you feel sometimes like you are cowering from your circumstances, like you are begging for something good while the world is passing you by? God is here to meet your every need and provide a life of joy and abundance in Him. He will never pass you by or leave you destitute.

Understanding Infertility: Post 1

Here we go, into the wild blog yonder. (Sorry)
 
This is the official opening blog for the Fundamentally Flawed book. Each Monday, I will post a new blog that follows the lesson topics discussed in FF. Most of the blog posts will be excerpts from the book, with a few extras thrown in, for good measure. Each month will focus on one Lesson-- convenient, since there are 12 of them. I love it when things work out!
 
For November, I'll be discussing Lesson 1, entitled Understanding Infertility. This is the first post in that series. Lesson 1, post 1... yeah, you get it. First off, a fact:

 7.3 Million US women have an impaired ability to get pregnant.

My Story...

Like most couples, when my husband and I were first married, we excitedly made plans for our future together. Among those plans, inevitably, was when we would start our family. It was important to us even at our young age (I was 20 when we were married) that I be able to stay home and take care of the children rather than place them in daycare. We also knew that we wanted a few years to cultivate our own relationship before we added the dynamic of children. At that point, everything seemed so cut and dry—we would give it about five years, then we would have three children about two years apart. That was our perfect, fail-proof plan.

 Five years came and went, and at last we determined we were financially and emotionally ready to become parents. I remember the first month we decided we were going to try to get pregnant. It was exciting.  I kept thinking of what it would be like to tell my husband I was going to give him a child, to tell our parents they were going to be grandparents; I began to think about how I would decorate the nursery, what hospital I would use, which pediatrician the baby would see… all the typical things a couple starting a family think about.

I knew that first month that the chances of conceiving right away were slim. I had resigned myself to the fact that it would probably take three or four months. But as three months turned into six, then nine, then a year, I began to feel the first twinges of despair.

During our second year of trying to conceive, I began to see an OBGYN for infertility treatment. She began with the determination that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and immediately prescribed medication. I had a renewed sense of hope when I left her office that day. I thought we had found the solution and that I would soon become pregnant.

About six months passed, and I still had not conceived. The next step was to undergo an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram), a procedure in which dye is injected into the reproductive system, and then an X-ray machine is used to look for any blockages or abnormalities in the fallopian tubes and ovaries. The test revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Everything appeared to be functioning properly. Though this news should have been a relief, it was honestly frustrating. In my mind, if a problem had been found, perhaps it could have been corrected and I could get pregnant. To not be able to conceive when everything appears to be normal seemed to me to be the worst prognosis. There was no specific cause to my infertility, I just WAS.

About this time, I really began to search the Scriptures for answers to my infertility. I had always trusted Him, but I felt as though He was letting me down somehow. My biggest question was:

 “Why did He give me this powerful desire to have a child, but deny me the ability?”

 

I wrestled with this question constantly, as I was sure many had before me. I thought about Sarah, the wife of Abraham and mother of Isaac. She was 90 years old before she finally held a newborn in her arms. Sarah was probably married to Abraham when she was about 13 years of age. That means she waited 77 years—past all hope—for the fulfillment of her deepest longing. Surely, she understood the inner turmoil I was feeling. Surely she too had asked over and over the same questions I had. Surely she too had felt at some point during those long 77 years that God had forgotten about her.

                Had He forgotten me?