Understanding Infertility, Post 4

Key Points from Lesson 1, Concluded

 

You need to change your focus.

I saved this point for last for two reasons: first, it’s the most critical point to achieving success, and, second, well, because it’s going to be a tough pill to swallow. At the risk of bristling those little hairs on the back of your neck, I’m just going to say it: you’ve got to stop focusing on yourself and your situation. When you walk through anything so personally tragic as infertility and miscarriage, it is the natural reaction to turn all eyes inward; to become self-focused; to become—dare I say it—obsessed with your misfortune. It’s not intentional by any means. It just comes naturally to our flesh. And it’s terribly, terribly destructive—not only to yourself, but to your marriage and all your other relationships.
                Infertility is not your identity. Let me say it again.
                 Infertility is not your identity.
The sooner you grasp hold of that, the better. It is true that you are experiencing a season in your life that is difficult to walk through. I will not deny you that, but it does not have to define who you are. We will delve deeper into this in a later lesson, but for now, mull over that thought, and take a good, introspective look at how infertility has changed you.

“For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” Colossians 3:3

 

This is the last post from Lesson1, Understanding Infertility. Next week, I'll begin Lesson 2, Changing Focus. It's all about how to shift our focus from our circumstances and infertility to our God.

"The Blesseds": The Meek

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Matthew 5:5

We tend to think of meekness as a negative trait. We equate it with someone who is cast down or trodden on. At best we may use it to describe someone who is unusually quiet or shy. But, meekness to God is not a weak, down-trodden individual, but rather someone who, by their own strength of will has chosen to devote themselves to God's plan. In this "blessed", Jesus is emphasizing the importance of a humble, contrite spirit that acknowledges its dependence on God, and chooses not to assert its own control. He is advocating an attitude of quiet reflection towards our Creator-- waiting on Him to speak and not being quick to demand from Him.

But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.Psalm 37:11

Jesus was probably quoting from this Psalm when he made His declaration to the meek.
God promises that those with a meek spirit will inherit the earth. Most likely, He is referring to the "new earth", the coming kingdom of God. The Psalmist is also promising much to the meek. In addition to the land or "earth", those with a quiet spirit will enjoy the peace that comes from acknowledging God's control, and the prosperity of His will actively at work in their lives.

On that day you, Jerusalem, will not be put to shame for all the wrongs you have done to me, because I will remove from you your arrogant boasters. Never again will you be haughty on my holy hill. But I will leave within you the meek and humble.The remnant of Israel will trust in the name of the Lord.Zephaniah 3:11-12

This passage from Zephaniah emphasizes God's favor of the meek and his detestation of the proud. He promises to remove all those who would boast in their own strength, their own power, their own self-made righteousness and leave only those who are humble and contrite in heart-- those who acknowledge their need for God and His power in their lives; those who realize that, apart from Him, they can do no good; and those who are waiting on the fulfillment of His promises.

Are you meekly walking through infertility? Is your spirit quietly waiting or does it rage and pound at the door of your heart, demanding an answer for its disappointments? Develop an attitude of meekness before God and He has promised you the peace and prosperity that you really desire. 

Understanding Infertility, Post 3

Key Points from Lesson 1, Continued

 

You are not alone in this.

 Not only has the Creator promised to never leave you or forsake you, you are here now with a group of women who are traveling the same road you are. Infertility and miscarriage are very isolating conditions. They can make you feel as though you are fundamentally flawed, utterly different than other women, and leave you feeling completely alone. The truth is you are not. Just look back at the statistic on the first page of this section. 7.3 million other women are feeling exactly what you are now. One of the fundamental purposes of this study is to get women like you linked up to a support system of others who can empathize, not just sympathize, with you. There may be times when you don’t feel like being linked, when you just want to curl up into a ball and hide yourself from everyone. I know, I was there; but those are the times when you need it the most.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

As you learn to heal and overcome the inner turmoil you feel right now, you will hopefully make yourself available to others who are just beginning their journey.

 

Your situation is not hopeless.

 

Even if you are dealing with a complete loss of fertility, that burning desire within you to hold a child of your own is not a lost cause. That longing for a child was placed inside you by your Creator Himself, and it was not a cruel trick (as I sometimes accused Him of). As we discussed earlier, He had a plan the moment He placed it inside of you, you just have to discover it. Believe it or not, some women have no desire to be a mother, and I believe that was no mistake. In a later lesson, we will discuss other ways to fulfill the longing of your heart, and you may be surprised to learn that you can do so without having to spend a dime!

Our God is the author of hope, and without Him, we are left to despair. The Scriptures tell us repeatedly to put our hope in Him, and that is exactly what we will learn to do. We will not put our hope in doctors or medical procedures which are fallible, but in the one, true, infallible God.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.” Psalm 62:5

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint”. Isaiah 40:31